The Quest for the Golden Egg
The Goblin Cohort roamed the outskirts of Capra Castra and particularly enjoyed loitering in the forest. Scheming on a weekly basis, with quotas for quarterly golden egg acquisition.
The goblin found the two of them engaged in conversation. “I say it’s a hundred bucks.” Thlothus declared.Thive shares an opinion while rattling a post., “Thit no, forget that noith. It ith’nt worth thelling nor buying for a hundred buckth.”
The goblin interrupted, “Green greetings goblin cohort geekers, tweakers, and stealers! How’s life been in the cellars? Fuckers—Hardly knew hers—how do you do?”
“Doodly-doo—doowop, thtolen thtew!” Thive exclaimed enthusiastically. Thlothus jumped in confidently, “We’ve got a plan—and it’s more than a concept—it’s a tried and true concept of a plan-LET THE MAN FINISH!—we’re going to see Gretelstiltskin and help make some soakedshrooms for Glugubrius so we can make some sweet sweet golden eggs.”
“Love it—need no further explanation—exposition reality excerpt fuck yeah—I’m all in. Fold. Hook and sinker.”
The goblin accepted the plan, one that had become more of a weekly routine than a neoteric excursion Yet the way the goblin’s ears rang made it feel like this time… things were going to be different.
“Thinker? Hardly knew her! Not ‘til that wicked wickth brewed her!” Thive burst out laughing.
“First step we find Gretel in the Lucus, convince her of the plan concept, and let her take the actions.” The goblin interrupts, “Wait, didn’t we convince her last week? Or did the actions not happen yet?” “Hahaha Shut the fuck up. We’ve got work to do, let’s get crack lackadaisical.” Thlothus rounds up the cohort and the group to perform the “garbling” ritual, starting over as if the ritual never stopped.
They ran in circles around the entrance to the grove as they laughed within their own minds. Thive began whistling and Thlothus’s belly became a drum. They then charged directly into the sparkly clearing — ambiance of twinkle bells and starlight. Into Lucus they entered, full of broken thoughts, and weak spots in reality, the trees surrounded them from every angle and a few extra dimensions. There was the scent of wormwood and the taste of copper, which confirmed the ritual had been successful.
There was a misty green smoke hovering over the ground, then the feet of a goblin went running by, followed by a maniacal giggle from the other direction.
From the shadows, a figure appeared wearing a pointed hat.
ACT I — THE GOBLIN 